When your expectations aren’t what you expected…

Show of hands, who has ever been disappointed by an expectation you had, that totally did not go the way you envisioned?  If your hand isn’t raised right now, then you are either in a public place, or thought that was a rhetorical request (same girl, same).  At one point or another, I’m sure everyone has had a moment in their life where they’ve thought to themself, “I didn’t see my life going this way.”  Or maybe something a long the lines of, “I thought I would’ve completed this by now, I thought I would’ve been farther along than that by now”.  Have you ever thought that maybe that expectation you had was actually a fantasy or a completely unrealistic thought you set yourself up for?

I’m reading a book currently called “Lady in Waiting” by Jackie Kendall (so good and I highly recommend for all my single ladies out there).  In a chapter titled “Lady of Contentment”, Jackie mentions a quote that says, “Expectations are premeditated resentment.”  *Microphone Drop!!! Mind blown!*   The amount that this chapter spoke to me was too real.   We have to be careful with expectations, especially unrealistic ones.  Unrealistic expectations can steal our contentment and joy.  A very popular unrealistic expectation that almost every female has is to be married by 25, definitely no later than 30.  Next, have kids by a certain age, and carefully planned out so Johnny can be close in age to Sally.  Also, can’t forget about that career we envision having and being in love with.  And then of course, travel the world, celebrate the holidays with loved ones, and go on vacations to ‘just get away’ every now and then.  Call me naïve, but I was blown away when I read that this was an unrealistic expectationNow hold on, I get it. Having ALL that stuff said above, well yeah, duh! Obviously having all of that is an unrealistic expectation. But is it really so much to ask to get married by 30? Hey I’ll even push it back a few years and say 35.

I’ve been reading different women’s testimonies lately, and some didn’t meet their future husbands until their late 30’s and didn’t get married until 40.  Everyone’s story (aka God’s Plan) is different, every female isn’t meant to get married by 30 and have 3 kids that are 2 years apart in age.  But guess what?  That’s 100% completely and totally okay.  Society puts this pressure on people (not just women and the age to marry by) to achieve a lot of things in life by a certain age.  And unfortunately, this pressure is never going to go away; it will always remain.  But your expectations and your view of your life doesn’t have to go along with society’s view.  If we aren’t careful, expectations can set us up for disappointment, discontentment, and offense.  Or to put it another way, expectations make an already hard life even harder.  When we are discontent, we are focusing on what is missing from our lives, rather than seeing what is going well with them.

I had brunch with a friend recently, and we were talking about things going on in our lives.

At one point my exact words were, “If I’m honest with you, I didn’t expect to be at where I am right now in life.”

As I said this aloud, it was almost as if I was realizing this for the first time.  Don’t get me wrong, life is good because God is so good, but 5 years ago if you would’ve asked me where I thought I would be, it definitely wouldn’t have been single as a pringle, no kids yet, and not even a boyfriend right now.  But at the same time, I wouldn’t have thought that I would be going to grad school, have a 4.0 GPA, doing well in my job, and actually content being single.

Life may not always be what you expect, but once again, I’m a firm believer in the expression, “There’s a reason for my season.”  Whatever season of life you’re in right now, soak it in.  Learn, grow, and listen to what God is trying to tell you and teach you.


“Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
-Philippians 4:11-13

When you get a tattoo, but don’t handle it like a boss…

Fun Fact about me:  I can be a little dramatic/extra sometimes.  Okay, maybe a lot of the time.  But one thing is sure, I always make myself laugh.  A lot of those times I’m laughing at myself.

A year ago, I got a tattoo and recorded my reaction. And I’m so glad I did because it was too funny with how ridiculous I was acting.


Final Product:

IMG_2347

Back Story behind the tattoo:

  • I know, I know. All that commotion for a little tattoo the size of a peanut M&M.  Hey, in my defense it had been a while since my last tattoo and I don’t deal with pain well.
  • This was actually my second tattoo I got (surprise Dad!).  It’s a lot smaller than my first and in a better location (less painful). However, you probably couldn’t tell that from my reaction.
  • I love crosses, love Jesus, and had been wanting to get a small cross on my foot for a while. Shoutout to Pinterest, where I got the inspiration.
  • I went with my best friend Ashley to get this tattoo, and she is the one who I told to “hold my hand”.  
  • I went to the same place where I got my first tattoo, but once again didn’t plan or schedule an appointment. I just showed up after dinner one Saturday evening and was like ‘hey can I get tatted up?’
  • I’m a believer in, “If you can’t laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?”

When he’s just not that into you

Whether you’ve seen the movie or not, I think almost everyone has experienced that situation where the person you are interested in, isn’t so interested in you.

For me, that’s happened a lot here lately.  Let me clarify, every guy that I’ve had interest in, just doesn’t seem to have interest in me, or rather not the same life interests I have.  However, there is one main thing I have learned in this season of singleness that I want to stress to every single female (or male if you’re reading this too) out there:

If a guy is not reaching out, making an effort, and/or pursuing you, then he’s just not that interested in you.

Period. Point blank. Now before you start gathering different debating points and giving me ‘What if situations‘,  (I.E.  “Well what if the guy has kids and is really busy?” or “What if he has been traveling for work and has been swamped with meetings?”)  Let me explain why.

When a guy is truly interested in you, you will know.  If you are second guessing or having any doubts of where he stands, there’s a reason. Don’t ignore that, there’s a reason you’re feeling that way.  It’s said that women have some innate intuition, now whether or not this is a myth or real (I’m no psychology or science buff) I have no idea.  However, for me personally, the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me and guiding me with all the guys I’ve dated.  At first I gave the credit to my intuition, but let’s be real, ain’t no way my own self could pick up on this stuff. In every situation that I’ve had with a guy who just wasn’t that into me, I have always found myself making excuses for them or justifying their actions. Oh they’re just busy, work is crazy, he fell asleep early last night.”  But the truth of the matter is, we make time for what we want in life.  If a guy really wants to talk to you and pursue you, he will.  If you find yourself constantly making excuses or justifying his actions, then that’s a red flag.

I dated a guy last summer and at first everything was going great.  We were talking a lot, hanging out, and I could see the effort he was putting in.  However, as time continued on, the communication became more and more distant. And my gut (aka the Holy Spirit) kept telling me there was a reason why.  Something wasn’t right, it didn’t make sense.  Come to find out, the guy had been talking to an old friend and that relationship was progressing, whereas ours was not.  He was at least honest with me about the entire thing in the end, but that didn’t make the disappointment any less.

I instantly could sense and knew when the shift happened in that scenario.  In a recent scenario I had this past Friday night, I also knew and sensed the shift.  I probably had one of the most awkward, yet real and honest conversations with anyone I’ve dated before.  One thing I’ve noticed I need to work on more lately is my communication.  Well this past Friday night, the Lord literally handed me the best opportunity to practice on a plate.  I had a very awkward yet clarifying conversation with a guy about where we stood.  We came to the conclusion that we were looking for two different things.  I’m looking for a relationship, where as he was not.  I appreciated the honesty of the talk, but once again, that didn’t make the disappointment any less.

At one point the guy asked me straight up, “did my lack of communication not tell you that I wasn’t looking for something serious?”  As I responded to him, I realized how ridiculous my excuses sounded that I used to justify his actions.  He was absolutely right, and if I’m honest, I was fully aware of the effort he wasn’t putting in; however, I kept making excuses to justify continuing to talk to him…..all because of how attracted I was to him.  I kept giving him one last opportunity to see if something was there or could get further clarification.  When all along the clarification was there, I just chose not to accept it I know, I’m shaking my head in disappointment in myself right now as well.  Hey, ya live and ya learn.

This frustrated, disappointed feeling that I’ve felt now in these scenarios is not fun.  And I’ve reached the point in my season of singleness where I’m just over it.  Over meeting a guy, getting my hopes up, and then it just not working out.

I had a conversation with my sister (who is the absolute best and I’m so blessed to have) recently that was so encouraging to me. Every time I have a disappointing outcome with a guy now, I go back and reference the spiritual wisdom she gave me.  I was telling her about a date I had and how frustrated I was because the guy wasn’t pursuing me.  She then expressed how exciting and great the day will be when I finally meet my future husband.  How great it’ll be to actually have him pursue me and not keep me in this limbo world.  After some more talking, she encouraged me with how far I’ve come in my season of singleness and said, “it may not be your time right now, but your time is coming.”  And I absolutely loved that! This expression can be used for a lot of things in life, not just relationship status.  We serve such a faithful God who will always provide the things we need in life.  Notice I said need there and not wants.  It may not be your time right now with your career or financial status but take comfort in the fact that your time is coming! And you’re closer to your blessing today than you were yesterday.  Be patient with yourself and embrace the season you’re in, no matter how frustrating or disappointing it may be at times.  

At this point of my season, it’s clear to me how it’s just not my time right now to be in a relationship.  That’s been made very clear by the many dates I’ve gone on, and have not progressed due to X, Y, and Z.  However, the Lord continues to bless me in other areas of life and continues to teach me.  And if I’m really honest with myself, it’s a blessing the Lord hasn’t brought my future husband into my life yet, because with all that I have to continue to learn and all that I have going on right now, the chances of that relationship lasting are slim.  The Lord’s timing is so perfect and although sometimes I think I’m ready for something, He truly knows.  And there’s nothing more encouraging that gives me hope.


For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.  

  • A time to be born and a time to die. 
  •  A time to plant and a time to harvest.  
  • A time to kill and a time to heal.  
  • A time to tear down and a time to build up.  
  • A time to cry and a time to laugh.  
  • A time to grieve and a time to dance. 
  •  A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.  
  • A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 
  •  A time to search and a time to quit searching.  
  • A time to keep and a time to throw away. 
  •  A time to tear and a time to mend.  
  • A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
  • A time to love and a time to hate. 
  • A time for war and a time for peace.   

– Ecclesiastes 3:1-8  

How to get a Valentine!

What do you get when you have a full time employee and part time student that has been out of town?  Someone who uploaded their Valentine’s Day Video later than expected. 🙂

Whether you spend your Valentine’s Day with a loved one, best friend, or slice of pizza, I hope it’s a great day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Just call me the Valentine’s Day Fairy…

I love love. It doesn’t even matter if I’m single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is one of my favorites! So with last year’s Valentine’s Day approaching, I was excited about the day and had some plans up my sleeve.

The days leading up to Valentine’s Day, I remember talking to one of my best friends about an idea I had.  I wanted to anonymously send some sort of Valentine’s Day treat or gift to some people last year. Okay, specifically there were two guys I wanted to send something. I may or may not have had a crush on them, I’m talking 5th grade style, but that is irrelevant to this story.  And two guys Cassie? Scandalous!! Hey, more like single!! 😉  All joking aside, these were two really good guys, who I wanted to feel special on Valentine’s Day.

However, there were two problems with this plan I had:

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My Hot Valentine’s Date Last Year

 

Behind the Scenes of “My Hot Valentine’s Date”:

  • I love making little Snapchat “movies” and would come up with the most random (and I think pretty creative ;)) ideas of what they should be about.
  • The idea for the entire story just came to me randomly one day.  We all know Pizza is bae, and I wanted to make fun of how my first single Valentine’s Day was going to go.  🙂
  • One of my best friends, Stephanie, filmed this video for me.
  • I made the story on a Saturday night in, had no makeup on, and no idea I’d be sharing this video with the world. 
  • This was back when I had short, dark hair at the beginning of 2017. My hair has grown a lot and is now blonder since then.
  • By the time we got to the part of pizza, it was cold… 😦   No worries, the oven came through so I could enjoy the rest later.
  • I honestly thought this Snapchat story was so cheesy (pun intended).  OriginallyI only posted it to my Snapchat account.  I was so surprised when I started getting feedback of how people loved it and thought it was so funny.  I then decided to upload it to my Instagram and Facebook account.  Hey, if it made someone smile, or even laugh, even if it was AT me, then that made me feel so good. 

 

I wasn’t planning on making another Valentine’s Day video this year, because honestly I had no creative ideas of what to make it about….until recently!! I am currently working on another video and I’m so excited to share it! Spoiler alert: there will be other people in it helping me out this year!! Stay tuned!

A date that ended horribly wrong that I wish I could delete

Things have been a little serious lately around here with my stories, so let me lighten the mood a little and tell you a dating story. It may make you laugh….shake your head in disbelief…or make you think I’m a horrible person…(I did tell you guys earlier I was far from perfect…this is a judge free zone here, right?)

CLICK THE READ MORE BUTTON BELOW TO KEEP READING!

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