Dating in Today’s Generation

I’ll never forget when I ended a relationship 3 years ago and the variety of mixed reactions I received.  Specifically, I’ll never forget a comment one of my co-workers said when I told them about the news of my breakup.  They replied with something along the lines of, “Man, it’s going to be hard to find a good guy out there.  I’d hate to be dating in today’s day and age.”  Geez.  Really Betty Jo?  That’s what you chose to say in that moment?  I look back at it now and just laugh.  But, if you’re single, maybe you can relate and have experienced the many things that people have said to you without thinking.  Shoot, you may not even be single but can relate to the many things people say to you without thinking.

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I remember another distinct conversation that I had with an ex-boyfriend and him telling me, “You’re looking for this perfect guy that doesn’t exist. You’re never going to find what you’re looking for.”  All my Single Ladies, let me just tell you right here, this was a very unhealthy relationship, and that was and is the biggest lie that Satan or anyone could ever feed you.  Now believe it or not, during that time of encouraging words and my fresh breakup, I had one thing in the back of my mind.  Faith.  Faith that I would find a good guy one day.  It’s hard to explain, but I had faith that it was possible to find the Godly man I was looking for.  He did exist.  In fact, many existed, but they were rare and hard to find.  Regardless, this was a challenge I was up for.  And to be real with y’all, more than anything my pride wanted so badly to go back to those people one day and say, “Told you so!”  But, that’s not right, or what Jesus would do.  

So, I spent about two years single.  The start of the second year is when I began dating.  Y’all, let me tell you, I learned so much.  I laughed.  I cried.  I made mistakes.  I got frustrated.  I got discouraged.  I got impatient.  Well, cut to February 2018.  I finally realized and accepted the fact that it still wasn’t my time to be in a relationship.  I was trying though let me tell you.  Going on dates, meeting people, trying to find my future husband.  But that was the problem, I shouldn’t have been trying to find him.  So finally, in February of 2018 I said, “Okay Lord, I’m done dating.  I get it, I surrender, it’s just not my time yet.”

Well then March 2nd , 2018 rolls around, and I go to a small group and meet some new people.  I had no idea that one man I met that night was going to become my boyfriend.  Also, let me rid any fairy tale misconceptions you may have in your mind, that I came to realize earlier before I met my now boyfriend.  It wasn’t love at first sight.  In fact, y’all I’m slightly embarrassed at how I almost turned away a blessing.  Here I was looking, no scratch that, praying for a good guy.  Then the Lord presents me with one, and I almost went running in the opposite direction.  I was scared, and I didn’t realize what it was like to date a good guy.  It was almost foreign to me.  It blew my mind, because he would tell me that he was going to call me.  AND THEN HE WOULD ACTUALLY CALL ME!! Like what? Who does that? I was so use to these guys leaving me unsure of how they felt about me.  Then I met this guy who put in the work pursuing me.  In the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend and I were long distance.  Nonetheless, I could still see and feel the effort he was putting in from 7,000 miles away.  But, let me say this: I tell you this not to brag or mislead you to think I have a perfect relationship today.  Child, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  We have our own struggles and things we’ve had to work through.  However, I tell you this to give you hope.  I’m telling you to hang in there.  I’ve dated in today’s generation and I know how discouraging it can be.  A lot of people may not realize the struggles or frustrations that can come with being a single woman of God.  At the same time, there are just as many struggles that come with being in relationship.  While neither is better or worse than the other, they are just both different.  If you’re single and wondering where all the good guys are, or how do you find them?  My answer is be patient, don’t lose your faith, and trust God.


 

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